nhp | (Sutamai) ‘Placed Under a Spell of Popularity’, Part 1

“Long, long ago, in a certain place…”

There lived a lone girl, who despite having many a friend, was not popular in the least.

She was an optimistic girl who didn’t despair over her circumstances.

Day after day, she spared no efforts in her quest to become popular.

Our story takes place in a world somewhere else, and it is a marvelous and unusual tale to be had.

-Kagura’s Mansion-

Rei: …… When you go to grab something on your right, use your left hand, and turn your body to the right…… So like this.

For grabbing something on your left side, it’s with your right hand. When passing it over, use both hands……

…… Wait, then what about when you use both hands to pass it over to your right side?

KAGURA: Hey.

Rei: Oh, KAGURA-san! Thank you for inviting me to the tea party today.

KAGURA: I said that it was for 3 o’clock, so aren’t you here way too early? Did you have time to kill?

Or rather, I don’t recall inviting over a suspicious person that would go ahead and act all creepy in someone else’s garden.

Rei: You’re only asking for it by calling my movements creepy……

Here, feast your eyes on this!!

KAGURA: What’s with that lame design of an excessively thick book?

Rei: “Thou shalt never go unloved, My Lady”.

This here is the ultimate guidebook written by popular people of all ages, and from all around the world!

KAGURA: ……

Rei: I’ve been looking for it everywhere, but I finally found it the other day in the city library.

At long last, with this, the complete awakening of my appeal will be—

KAGURA: It’s definitely not going to amount to anything.

Rei: At least let me finish what I was going to say!!

KAGURA: To begin with, you’re someone who’s never had an encounter with love in the past twenty or so years.

How many times are you going to make me tell you that it’s useless no matter how hard you struggle this late into the game?

Rei: Then promise me that you won’t say that sort of hopeless sounding stuff……

KAGURA: Don’t go making up some silly promise that’s all and well convenient for you.

Rei: Look, I get it. Relying on something like this is not the right way to go about things.

But just last month, another one of my friends got married…… Did you know that she’s two years younger than me?

KAGURA: And what of it?

Rei: Well then, of course I’m going to get impatient!

KAGURA: Tell that to someone who cares.

Rei: They say that in a person’s lifetime, there exists three occasions for when they’re in their height of popularity. I won’t ask for something as extravagant as three times.

I only want one. Just once, I’d like to have a taste of that moment is all.

But life simply doesn’t go the way that you want it to!!

KAGURA: Good God…… I can’t keep up with your nonsense.

Maid: Please forgive me for interrupting in the middle of your conversation, Master AKI.

But Master KYOSUKE has arrived.

KAGURA: I’ll be there at once.

Rei: Oh? KYOSUKE-kun is early as well.

KAGURA: I have business to speak with KYOSUKE so I called on him ahead of schedule.

I’ll be back after I finish up with it. But when I do, and if at that time you’re performing that cursed yoga-like movement again……

I’ll send you away in that state.

-Kagura’s Garden-

Leaving me with those parting words, KAGURA-san headed back towards the mansion.

Rei: (That was his serious face……)

…… I’ll just quietly read my book.

Having decided on that, I commenced flipping through the pages once again.

However, the number of times that my eyes gradually drifted off from the never-ending text—with exceedingly difficult phrasing—started to increase.

The pleasant afternoon weather wasn’t helping either, and my eyelids began to feel heavy.

Rei: ……

……

…… Oh!

(T-This won’t do at all. I’ll never be popular at the rate I’m going!)

(Concentrate… I have to concentrate……)

…… It’s impossible……

I resigned myself, and with a snap, I closed the book and gave a big stretch.

Rei: Aaarrghhh……

(Honestly, just once in my life is fine.)

(I want to be so popular that nothing makes sense anymore……)

???: “...... Goodness.”

Rei: Huh?

(Just now, it sounded like someone had said something…… Maybe I’m hearing things……)

???: “You really want it that badly?”

Rei: !!

I scanned my surroundings curiously, but there was no one in sight.

Rei: (Maybe I’m just tired……)

???: “You really want to be popular that badly?”

Rei: Huh!? Um, y-yeah!! I want to be popular!

Not comprehending what was going on, I answered honestly with enthusiasm before I was even aware of it.

???: “Is that so? Well then, let me grant you that wish.”

Rei: Huh? W-Who exactly are you??

[KABOOOM!!]

Rei: AAARRGHHHHH!?

Instantly, my whole body went numb like it had been struck by lightning. Having been dealt with such an impact, I used all the strength I had left to turn onto my back.

Rei: …… Ouch…… that hurt……

(What was that just now? I thought that I had died for a second there……)

???: Are you okay?

Rei: …… Huh?

It was an unfamiliar voice. I raised my head, and standing there was—

-Kagura’s Garden-

???: I’ve been looking for you. We finally meet at long last.

—a handsome man who had his hand extended out towards me.

-Kagura’s Garden-

Rei: (W-Who is this person?)

(I’m sure that I wouldn’t forget someone this good-looking.)

Male: Are you hurt anywhere, Alice?

Rei: Alice?

(Oh…… I see now. So that’s how it is.)

Thank you so much for having so kindly offered me a helping hand.

But I do apologize, as you seem to have the wrong person.

Male: No, I do not believe so.

Pardon my lateness in introducing myself. I am the white rabbit, IMAOJI.

Rei: …… The white rabbit?

(I wonder if he’s one of KAGURA-san’s guests.)

(There sure are a lot of over-the-top rich people who are strange……)

IMAOJI: Now then, let us be on our way, Alice.

Rei: Um, no. Like I said, you’ve got the wrong person.

I’m not Alice, and my name is Rei—huh? Wait, what are you doing!?

IMAOJI: This way, if you would please.

Rei: (This person—! He’s all smiles despite being quite pushy!!)

Seeming as if I was being dragged into the dark cover of the trees, I did what anyone would have expected, and desperately fought back.

Rei: Hold on! You really do have the wrong person!! Let go! I’ll start screaming, you know!?

IMAOJI: …… So you’re not going to listen to what I tell you to do?

Rei: Huh?

(Er, somehow…… the atmosphere has changed rather suddenly? There’s a sense of danger in the air……)

I was perplexed as to his gaze.

At the same time, my hair had become disheveled from all the struggling. IMAOJI-san, upon seeing this, used his fingers to brush the lock that fell across my face behind my ears.

IMAOJI: …… What a devilish lady you are.

Instead of bothering to hide those enchanting earlobes, you expose them……

Rei: …… Huh? My e-earlobes?

IMAOJI: Even though I only barely touched them, I feel like I could completely lose myself to them.

Rei: ……

(...... Oh, bother.)

(This person is an all-out genuine threat!!)

-Kagura’s Garden-

Rei: Oh my god! I can’t believe that there’s a beauty with plump ears right over there!

IMAOJI: Huh?

I didn’t know for sure if he was actually interested in beauties with plump ears.

Or if he was reacting to the sudden outburst on the spur of the moment.

At any rate, his focus had briefly turned away from me.

Rei: (Now’s my chance!)

Sorry! I lied!

IMAOJI: !

Somehow or other, I knew that I had to get away from there. So I ran with all my might with the mansion as my destination in mind.

Rei: (What was that all about?)

(A handsome man with an ear fetish suddenly forcing himself on me… Were my ears always really that much of a hit!?)

All the while running, I snuck a backwards glance to make sure that he wasn’t chasing after me. I didn’t know what to do if that were the case.

Rei: …… Huh? He’s gone……

(Just where did he go……)

In that moment, my legs swung into the air instead of landing onto the ground like they were meant to.

Rei: !?

(W-Why is there a hole in a place like this??)

AARGH! NOOOOO……!!

It was pitch black and I couldn’t make out anything. I continued to slide down that dark hole, that had quite a few slopes and turns, and for who knows how long.

[.................. THUMP!]

-The Abyss of Doors-

Rei: Mmph!

The hole that I had thought would go on forever abruptly arrived at its final stop, and I landed squarely face first onto the ground.

Rei: (I-It’s stopped? My butt is…… still intact. Thank God……)

(I was afraid that all that excessive sliding around would reduce it down to nothing.)

…… What... is this place?

???: Oh, you came!!

Good job getting here, Rei~ Or should I call you Alice instead?

Rei: !